Katie Price - Perfect Ponies: My Pony Care Book

The cover alone is enough to rot your teeth: a glittery border of lucky horseshoes, flower petals and love hearts, framing an even bigger, glittery love heart within which is Jordan – or Katie Price, as she is now known – holding the head of a pony. Naturally, the pony’s bridle is candy pink.

You can see why Perfect Ponies: My Pony Care Book is such a big seller with young girls and maybe women who fondly remember their first horsey pash. Jordan Sex Bomb is no more, this is Jordan Big Sister in a succession of pink fleeces and pink boots, her hair lustrous but tamed, breasts invisible. This is Jordan does Boden, daintily carrying saddles and reins. The only sign of the Jordan we are familiar with is the deep tan, frosted lip gloss and drag-queen eye make-up.

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